The continuing story of a non-relationship

If you haven't read my previous posts from the beginning then good luck trying to unravel what on earth is going on in my sex life from this one!

The angry ex texted again today. Strange. Having told me he was never going to talk to me again he's showing a lot of interest in me at the moment (see previous post). B also texted as he usually does ah smile.

Anyway, back to Brighton...we had a really good chat this evening. He told me in great detail about the 4 - 6 hours of pleasure he would give me given the chance. I was really turned on especially when he also gave me a little slide show of pictures of his cock, yummy! He sounds like another B. Could that be possible? [pause...] Oh my god, I've just had the most wonderful few fantasy moments. Brighton and B and me - what a threesome that would be if Brighton lives up to his promises! Crikey, it would be unbelievably awesome. But I'm never going to suggest it to either of them. These guys have to be in parallel universes. They must never meet. Brighton showed an interest in the threesome scenario so maybe I'll have to set about finding yet another guy...haha the 20 year old kid! (see previous post) He'd be up for it I'm sure. How hilarious is this becoming. I'm having a semi-clandestine non-relationship with B, and potentially a totally secret fling with Brighton and the kid. I couldn't tell ANYONE I know about this new twist if it comes off. Because it's becoming clear to me that I have the beginnings of a sex addiction. Have started arranging a meet with Brighton only one day after I decided I would use him just for dirty talk. Pretty weak resolve eh? Especially bearing in mind the disastrous brickie. This time I must must must say no if he's not a good kisser. Somehow I think this guy is the real deal tho. I was stupid with the brickie. I didn't ask him for details or dirty talk or anything. And then I slept with him because I felt sorry for him driving all that way for nothing otherwise and also just out of curiosity. I barely remember it now and it was less than a week ago (see previous posts). I'm really keen to try Brighton out now. I have a number to text him on but he only has it at work cos it's his "other" phone, the one his wife mustn't see. Tomorrow's Friday then the weekend. He's busy all weekend with visitors so can't text til Monday. Well, that's quite convenient cos I need to sort stuff out for a daytime meet. It's only gonna be an hour or so over a drink or coffee. Oh and lots of snogging. Not til next Wed if it happens at all so better stop thinking about it.

I need to put Brighton out of my mind and start fantasising about B again. He'll want to fuck either tomorrow or Saturday and it'll have to be Saturday cos of my period. Just thinking for a second about it has made me so horny!

You know this whole adventure started out on a regular internet dating website. I thought I was looking for a new boyfriend and was not particularly optimistic. What I found was the world of no strings sex! I never would have thought I could throw myself into it so easily and wholeheartedly. I used to think that good sex was connected to emotional attachment. Of course it is sometimes but not necessarily. Good sex just needs a good lover and a high sex drive. I'm so happy that this has happened to me now in my early forties when I still have my good body and good looks. I've got a few potentially exciting years of this ahead before I start to look old and unattractive...yipee!

More about a non-relationship

Who should text me this morning trying to get text sex out of me? The angry ex, of course. Wednesday is his day off work. Sigh...and then he asked if I wanted to fuck him tonight! I said that I would if I thought he could be nice but that his low opinion of me would make me feel cheap.

From the previous post you'll remember that I had a weekend of wonderful sex with B. Sigh...and then I had the idea of talking dirty with guys on line to satisfy my outrageous sex drive in between B's visits. Rather than...ahghghghghghg!...disastrous fucks (see previous posts).

Married man in Brighton sent an apology for disappearing the other night but is being very reserved. No dirty talk even though he sent a lovely picture of himself. I sent a couple of saucy ones back and still no dirty talk! Last night I wanked over his cock and balls picture...cor nice fantasies I was having of finally meeting him after a few weeks of dirty MSN talk and us both being mega horny. He's my no.1 seed for dirty talk cos his cock reminds me of B's and his balls of my exes...lovely! When I told him about wanking over his picture he started acting jealous that I'm fucking someone else but still he didn't talk dirty. How ridiculous! We know nothing about each other and haven't even had MSN sex...I just sent him an e-mail to say that it was getting a bit too much like hard work and if he was like that in bed then I was losing interest. See if that works. Oh, we have an MSN sex date for tomorrow night.

Apart from Brighton there's a guy in Ashford who sent some dirty poetry and other dirty talk. It was good stuff but I found him a bit scary. I wanked over some dirty MSN talk with a 20 year old the other night. That was ok but he went too fast and was obsessed with getting a picture of me wearing stockings. I'm hoping that Brighton will come through...he's very sexy.

GREAT NEWS! I started my period today so I'm not pregnant by stupid, idiotic, crap-in-bed, boring brickie!! (see previous posts) And I couldn't have fucked my ex either even if I'd wanted to. Now that could be the universe telling me something?

Course it also means that another session with B will have to wait til Saturday but actually I think that may suit him this week. It's not gonna be good for masturbation either, no deep fingering for a few days. Well not without a lot of mess ha ha

Oh life is so good at the moment.

The continuing story of a non-relationship

Eureka! I've worked out the solution to my outrageous sex drive problem. As you know from previous posts B gives me the best sex of my life twice a week. But it's so incredibly good that I'm permanently horny in between visits. I had started to look at casual sex websites thinking that as B and I had no monogamy pact maybe I could find another guy for another night in the week. Then the disastrous brickie (see previous posts). And then an incredible weekend of sex with B. After our 6 hour session last night he came up this evening for about an hour and a half. Amazing! So that got me thinking...I won't get what I need from another real life man because none of them can live up to B. Solution? Erotic on-line chatting! Then I can imagine the guy doing what he says and of course it'll be fantastic because it'll all be in my imagination.

I've sent an e-mail to married Brighton guy cos I think he'll be up for it. Course I led him on a bit by pretending that I'd just met B...ha ha. See what he says anyway.

I could do with some erotic chatting now. B left here half an hour ago having made me cum over and over and I'm already horny again! I think I'll adjust my profile if the Brighton guy's not into it and I'll find someone I'm sure.

Off to download MSN now...he he

Later...

I downloaded MSN. Brighton guy said it'd be better to wait to see what happened with Mr Right, as he put it. Then I just checked my messages again and he has changed his mind, he's up for chatting! I'm really pleased because his message also had attached a picture of his cock and surrounding areas. Really lovely, got me horny straight away! He's got the right body type (tall and slim) and wonderful tackle. Cor could be really nice. Anyway I sent him a message on MSN and very quickly he replied. We just started chatting and then he said he had to go. Hopefully will get some hot chat later...

I've thought a lot about how I've changed recently and how it seems like the past 10 years have been grooming me for this adventure. When I got married I more or less took on celibacy as I didn't fancy my husband and couldn't keep up the pretence for long. After I had a baby it was a perfect excuse to give up all together. Then my first boyfriend after my marriage broke down taught me about dressing up which I'd never done before (no one had ever asked me!). He was a bit pervy so I got to get a glimpse of that side of sex. Next was the angry guy, but he had a lovely cock and I honed my BJ skills on him. Also I learned that I was naturally submissive which was a great relief. I can't take the pressure of being in control. Also because he was so verbally abusive and spiteful towards me for so long I was prepared then to ditch the whole relationship thing altogether. So I met B at exactly the right time, just before the final split with the horrible ex. Now I can combine dressing up, submission and cracking BJ's for wonderful, exciting sex. And drugs and music too without the bullshit of a relationship. Perfect!

The Story of a Non-Relationship

Well it's Sunday morning after the Saturday night before. It was great as usual tho only 6 hours (I guess he was tired after working all day!) and the drugs made me sick briefly. Hmmm not sounding too great is it? ha ha it was fabulous, he is the most amazing lover in the world! Or at least in this part of the world. He introduced some new role play which was very exciting. I've been wondering if over time he's gradually going to get a bit more hardcore about the whole Master/Slave thing. At the moment I'm his sex slave but he only asks me to do things I want to do and in the nicest possible way. Be interesting to see how the role play thing develops...I love him being my master yum yum!

Had a few e-mails with married man from Brighton yesterday. He sounds ideal but then so did the brickie! I told him briefly about the brickie and how he had talked the talk but not delivered at all. This guy seems pretty confident that he can deliver all of what I've asked for. Then he asked me to meet him daytime. I'd said in my very first message when I saw that he was married that I couldn't do daytimes...annoying! He says he'll try to get a night off but we'll see. If this one turns out to be a bust I might give up and be happy with my lovely B even though twice a week is killing me! Might not even get my quickie this week as have to go out to work on quickie night. Aghghghghghg! Oh there's an older guy from Kent interested too. A lot of the guys who wink or e-mail me I woudln't touch with a barge pole but he may be ok.

For some reason I'm feeling a bit down this morning. Very strange as we took MDMA last night. It didn't really do it for me this time, for some reason, and I don't feel this morn like I normally would after a night on e.

Ah well, I wonder how long it'll be before I get another night with B. Could be a week! ahghghghghghg! That married man from Brighton sounding more appealing by the second ha ha. Actually I'm not outrageously horny this morning for the first day in ages. Maybe cos I had sex for 6 hours last night but I didn't cum! Neither did B, I wouldn't let him cos I wanted to keep going but we fell asleep anyway.

It's going to be a gorgeous, sunny day today. I should take advantage of not being outrageously horny and actually get some stuff done today!

More about a non-relationship

The business man from Eastbourne turned out to be a bust. He is already fucking someone and maybe was looking to try to get someone for a threesome. Not my bag at all. Me with two guys...now that's another story!

The brickie...oh the brickie. Don't know what came over me but I actually met up and fucked this guy. And I didn't read the warning signs...bad kisser! Should have known he'd be rubbish in bed but somehow I thought after the detailed e-mails I'd sent him that he knew I'd have high expectations. I think he, like many men, are completely deluded about their lovemaking skills. I mean how arrogant to advertise yourself on a casual sex website and sell yourself to a woman when you're actually crap in bed? He was so bad in every way, apart from he had a big, fat dick. But unfortunately he had no idea what to do with it. Not hard and deep but quick and shallow. God almighty! How does a guy get to the age of 43 and not have learned how to make love properly? The only thing I can think is that there's a load of women out there being fucked by these guys and thinking that they're getting good sex. Poor cows, if only they knew! Or they haven't the heart to tell their partner that they're crap in bed. That just about sums up my situation with the ex actually. I guess if the guy's a good catch in other ways and you're not bothered about having mindblowing sex then that's ok. Not me anymore! I don't need anything from a man except good sex (oh all right and DIY).

Anyway, what an idiot. He came inside me! How incredibly stupid is that? I think I might be his first fuck since he split from his wife, from the way he was talking. What will the universe be telling me if I get pregnant by that incompetent idiot?

I slept with the brickie really for two reasons. Firstly to see if I could get anything approaching the buzz I get with B from someone else and secondly to see if I was truly emotionally unattached to B i.e. would I feel guilty.
On the first count obviously I didn't get anything approaching the buzz but now I'm asking myself was it just cos the brickie was a bad fuck? In other words could I still get a pretty good buzz from another guy? I have to say that I think the answer might be yes. After all, using the sport analogy again, you could have two tennis partners. One might be a great match for you and you may always have a great time playing him. The other might be a good substitute when the number one guy wasn't available and you have a pretty good time playing with him. See? B might be my number one seed but number two could still give me a good time when B not available. The thing is that although the brickie was rubbish, I was so horny that I was really wet and responsive to anything half decent he did. As I said the fucking was poor but on the odd occasion when I managed to pull him in deep it did feel good. So if he'd been a workman who knew how to use his tools it could have been really good.
On the second count...no I did not feel guilty. The intimacy and pleasure I get with B could in no way be affected by that fuck with the brickie. I think I may truly be getting inside the mind of a guy now. I can understand that when a guy cheats and says, "It was nothing, just sex!" that it's probably true. What I did with the brickie was just (bad) sex. Even if I'd got off on it more it could never have been as good as with B. As for emotional attachment...well I think I am a bit attached to B. However I no longer worry about him fucking other women and I feel free to fuck other men knowing that neither of us would then go on to abandon each other. As long as we're having great sex and enjoying each other's company fucking other people will be insignificant. Wow, I might be making this non-relationship work!

After he left I e-mailed the married guy from Brighton. See what he turns out to be like if he's still available.

So am hoping for a drug fuelled sexathon with B tonight, at least 8 hours. We're having text sex at the moment which is driving me wild. He hasn't said no to an all nighter so fingers and everything else crossed too! I'm such a lucky girl...ha ha.

Must remember not to talk the night away this time! Last time we took too much coke and I talked like a maniac. Before we knew it the night was gone and we'd hardly fucked at all...not good! I was really upset for days afterwards knowing that there may only be quickies on offer for a while. I wonder if it's unusual to be up for fucking for more than 8 hours? Would most women enjoy that? B says not and I suppose he should know. I'm not even satisfied after 8 hours, I could keep going! I think that's one of the things B likes about me...

More about The Non-Relationship

As I've mentioned in a previous post, I've only slept with 4 men in the past 10 years and that includes present fuck buddy . So clearly I didn't used to be a slut. I didn't cheat on my hubby even though we didn't have sex for years etc etc. So what has happened to me that I've become completely rampant?

After my marriage break-down I had a fling with a guy who woke up my libido big time. Dormant for about 4 years, it was pretty much comatose! The sex with him wasn't that great but it was exciting and grown up and a little bit pervy. I was so horny all the time!

Next was my most recent ex, the one with anger issues. He tried hard, bless him, and he was very well endowed and highly sexed so I just enjoyed it as much as I could. I swear that he learned everything he knows about sex from porn films though. You ever been with that kind of guy? No genuine passion, purely technique and role play. Ah well it was ok and kept me sane.

Now B giving me the best sex of my life but with no emotional attachment. With him sex is all about genuine passion and sensuality. Before and after we're just like mates again. Weird eh? I didn't think it would be possible for me not to fall in love with the best fucker I've ever met but it seems that it is. Wow, life just keeps throwing them at you, doesn't it?

So now I fear that I am turning into a genuine slut. If fantastic sex is possible without attachment (and I used to think that you had to be in love!) then it becomes as addictive as any drug. Just how much fantastic sex could I have before I started to wear of it or would I become dangerously addicted? Unfortunately I have an addictive-type personality. If sex is no longer an expression of love but just a very enjoyable sport then why not play as much as you feel like? If I was a fanatical runner and went in for marathons and the like then no one would think it odd if I was training 4 or 5 days a week or more. Hence if sex is something I happen to be into in a big way at the moment is it so wrong to explore this interest 4 or 5 times a week? As long as it doesn't affect my daily life then I'm technically not an addict I think. Well at the moment it's affecting my daily life because I can't stop thinking about sex because I'm so horny because B will only do 2 times a week!

Which brings me to...the casual sex web sites. Ha ha! You see I'm worried that I'm losing my sense of reason and perspective because I am actually considering meeting up with one or more of those guys. It may be an incredibly dangerous thing to do and it may be something I'll regret when I regain my sanity or worse it may get me into trouble with B. Is it safe to meet guys on the internet for casual sex? I don't see why it's any more dangerous than picking someone up in a bar but maybe they're both dangerous? Well, of course they are. Just like crossing the road is statistically dangerous. But we do it because we need to or want to don't we? Or smoking for goodness sake! I smoke my head off even though I know it's very very bad for my health.

Currently there's bricklayer from Kent, business man from Eastbourne and married man from Brighton (!) on my potential fuck buddy list. My rational head says "stop before this gets out of control" but my sex drive is driving me crazy!

The Story of a Non-Relationship
More about how to resist our natural female urge to attach to a great lover and friend:

OK so on one of our druggy all nighters B and I had a conversation about fidelity. At the time I was freaked out that he was sleeping with someone else. Ha ha what a horrible hypocrite I am as I was sleeping with my ex at that time. Somehow that didn't seem wrong to me so I quickly rationalised his situation and agreed to try to come to terms with it. Not long after B told me that I was the only girl he was sleeping with but obviously he wasn't going to make any promises about the future. That is eminently sensible isn't it? In a standard relationship or marriage people usually intend to be faithful but many don't manage it for the entire duration. So why worry that he may sleep with someone else in the future as even if we were married that same possibility could be there!

I'm pretty sure he's not actively seeking someone else. So this should be ideal. At the present time, which is the only reality we can actually experience, B is faithful to me. Why do I worry about the future? Everything is transient, nothing permanent. "Live for the moment!", I keep telling myself. What makes more sense than that? But somewhere in us women there is a need to attach, to want a man to stick around. Put like that it's clearly an evolutionary expectation and therefore natural. But is it appropriate to all women in the 21st century? Many women clearly would benefit from this traditional set up but I think there's a significant minority of us who don't. If you are financially independent and have your own interesting and enjoyable life why have a relationship? It just gets in the way.

So here comes my dilemma of the day...I'm struggling to be satisfied with what B offers i.e. sex twice a week (sometimes once!). He doesn't want more in case it gets boring. He says he wants to keep it exciting and fantastic for as long as possible. I totally agree with him and this whole situation has made me outrageously horny, which is exactly the aim. But can I really limit myself to twice a week? I'm at the point of looking at casual sex websites because B hasn't fucked me for nearly 3 days. Aghghghghg!

Now I'm in danger of sounding like a slut here. For the record I have slept with precisely 4 men in the last 10 years, because I've been in long-term monogamous relationships yawn. So a slut I am not. However I am highly sexed and greedy! My exes would confirm that. Course B is right. If he came up every night or even every other night it would get samey. The buzz would go. This way there's always anticipation, something to look forward to. And this has to be a key difference in the relationship and non-relationship. If handled correctly the non-relationship could keep it's spark for much longer and therefore end up being the longer relationship (ironic, no?). Seeing too much of one person (friend, lover, relative) rarely results in a healthy relationship in my experience.

So back to the subject of casual sex websites he he. This is all new to me. My reasoning is this...B is giving me mindblowing sex at most twice a week. In between times I am outrageously horny. I can't have more with B cos he doesn't want to and my rational mind agrees with him. I don't want sex with him to become boring! Conclusion...get a second no strings lover to plug the gaps in the schedule. It could be perfect. It would be no good if it dampened my desire for B, wouldn't want that, no way! But there's a possibility that it could highten my lustful urges as I'd have two men to fantasise about and look forward to. Interesting theory eh?

And boy have I come a long way from worrying about fidelity! I know that in reality B isn't gonna find anyone better than me. Just how many girls out there can be a perfect physical fit, be up for it constantly, be into 8hr drug/music fuelled sexathons and give intelligent conversation not to mention deeper than deep head? I think I'm a good catch. Likewise he's a perfect catch for me. So rather than ruining what we have by being demanding or whining I need to take control and fix the problem without him ever realising there was one.

There's a brickie in Kent who's interested...tbc

The Story of a Non-Relationship

We went out last night for the first time in our brief friendship (met on beach once, had sex at my house all other times!). I had to go to something and B agreed to come with me, bless him. It was pretty awful so we escaped and went for sex in the back of his campervan. Hmmm...weird rare night out for me! The sex was amazing as usual, if a bit speedy for my liking.

Which brings me on to the "quickie". After our incredible 8 - 12 hr sexathons quickies just don't do it for me anymore. I'm always up for more! Ha ha still it's better than nothing and far superior to any other quickie I've ever experienced so shouldn't complain.

Ah he was supposed to come over tonight but he's too tired after a long day at work. Bah. Maybe tomorrow or else Tuesday...yikes! I'm outrageously horny thanks to last night's quickie. That's the effect this man has on me. He's very sensible to keep our meetings down to twice a week - keeps me gagging for it which is exactly how he wants me to be and helps to prevent emotional attachment.

We fit so well in so many ways but this is such a great time to be actively avoiding a "relationship" outcome. It would not work for so many reasons. But as it is I have mindblowing sex, great company, free drugs and fellow drug fiend to take them with, love of the same music and excitement in bucket loads. It would definitely ruin that buzz if we started spending too much time together. I don't even particularly fancy him until we go to bed and his wonderful hands start to stroke me...then aaahhhhhhh heaven! Perfect fit in all ways physically and also in the sense that he likes to dominate and I like to be submissive (in a very low key way, no props required!). Wow what an incredible stroke of luck to meet him AND to end up fucking him! Could so easily have never happened...

Read a blog yesterday that could have been written by B. Almost word for word how he explained the non-relationship idea to me. It's by sleepwalkersreverie and is called Too Much Love Will Kill You. Get inside the minds of many men by reading this!

How am I going to last tonight out? Aghghgh! I'll have to see if I can flirt outrageously with anyone on the net. Today I was so horny I was even checking out the Morris Men who have invaded our town this weekend. Now that is desperate let me tell you!

I'm embarking on an experiment in a non-relationship. Take all the good bits of a standard relationship and dump the bad. This means different things to different people no doubt. Here's my own personal analysis:

The Good: regular sex, a man to do jobs around the house and garden, nice talks, the odd date (prob going to a gig)

The Bad: loss of sense of self, bickering over household chores, feeling obligated to spend time with them when you don't really want to, doing stuff they enjoy but you don't to "compromise", doing boring daily tasks like shopping with them etc etc

Course there can be added bonuses. For example my last disastrous relationship lasted too long because I didn't want to lose (in addition to sex and DIY!) a male role model for my young son and an incredible musical partner. Unfortunately he was also verbally and emotionally abusive. In the end, out of spite, he witheld the things he knew I wanted (including sex!) so what was the point?

So now my "compromise" involved finding at least good sex and an odd-job man without the shit. And I did it!! Thanks to the old internet dating. At least I'm hoping that's what I've got, it's early days yet.

So this blog is going to be a record of my first ever attempt (I'm 41!) at a non-relationship. Can I fight the natural female instinct to emotionally attach to a great lover and friend? Aren't relationships based on the fact that the couple have found exactly that? So why do they inevitably go wrong? Oh come on even the most solid of couples have lost that spark, find each other irritating sometimes and have somehow lost parts of themselves. Loss of self - the biggest downfall in a relationship. And I always do it! This time I'm gonna try not to by having a non-relationship.

By an incredible stroke of luck or fate or whatever almost immediately I signed up for internet dating I was "winked" by B. Might have ignored it if I'd had more experience but it might have been my first decent wink. We e-mailed a bit. We met up on the beach, he with his dogs, me with my boy. Nice enough. Then he text me that he thought I was lovely. We text about another meeting. Then silence. I didn't understand. I am not a girl capable of reading between the lines or understanding hints. In that way my brain is quite male-like, logical, down to earth. So me being me I sent him a long e-mail trying to work out why he'd suddenly gone cold. Another time I might not have bothered or if I was someone else I might not have had the guts. He then answered and the first hints of the non-relationship scenario became apparent. B told me he didn't want to get to know my boy or for my boy to get to know him. Painful divorce etc. I thought about it. I don't know why I was so pushy because B is not immediately drop dead gorgeous or anything. But after my recent break-up I had decided that I was not prepared to go without sex. I'm too old to wait for fate to intervene and hand me a new man! As a single mum I barely go out so I had to take control and actively seek a man. So I suggested we meet just the two of us. We arranged a Sunday eve. But I was so impatient I invited him over on the Wednesday...wow! nice first time sex.
Then the ex suddenly appeared and I was back with him...for 2 days! Oh naughty me then I was sleeping with them both for a week or two. The second time with B we were both blown away. Drug fuelled all night sex, the best either of us had had in years! Totally mindblowing! And on top of that I think he's a great guy. He's a bad un, total rogue (possibly reformed?) but I like him! We have stuff in common, similar outlooks on life and relationships or non-relationships.
So we agree to give it a go. Seems to be twice a week for sex. Up til now that's been one drugs/sex/music all nighter and a quickie. Yum!! But we talk a lot and tonight we go out on a date. Neither of us is into going out but I need to and he agreed to come with me. That's cool! Exactly fitting my criteria again "the occasional date". What I know I won't get from him is a "daddy" for my boy but I may get some kind of role model if he lets the boy help him do jobs. Anyway I'm not so concerned about this at the moment. In a few years maybe.

B says that good sex in return for good sex should be enough. Yeah in cloud cuckoo land. A single mum with no family around needs a man who can HELP. I can't sacrifice that for even the best sex I've ever had (which it is!). So I explain that I have to keep looking for someone who'll do both sex and DIY. He offers to take it on. Problem solved and I stop looking at other guys though only cos I want to not because I'm trying to please him. That's not what this is about. This is about being selfish. Don't be beholden to a man for my emotional stability and certainly not for financial stability (never done that!). Give unconditionally and receive unconditionally. Being selfish doesn't mean holding back as a friend but it does mean not doing stuff you don't want to do in case you get emotional grief from your partner. I stop looking for other guys because I know that in this small seaside town I ain't gonna get a better deal than the one I've got now. At least as long as I'm happy...

Anyway I guess asking for manly jobs as part of the deal makes me something of a whore unless there's something else I can give him apart from sex. I think all relationships are prostitution to some degree. In the conventional set-up the guy wants a mum for his kids, regular sex, womanly jobs done and company. A woman wants a stable home for herself and her children, nice stuff, regular sex, company, manly jobs taken on. It's all about trading isn't it?

So there's the set-up. Why now have I decided to ditch standard relationships? Because my "relationships" have all failed (including a marriage) - there's a decent sample size believe me! Because I'm too set in my ways and independent to accommodate another full-time boyfriend. Because B is determined for the same reasons as me and I think if I can rein in my female instincts all will be perfect!