More about The Non-Relationship

As I've mentioned in a previous post, I've only slept with 4 men in the past 10 years and that includes present fuck buddy . So clearly I didn't used to be a slut. I didn't cheat on my hubby even though we didn't have sex for years etc etc. So what has happened to me that I've become completely rampant?

After my marriage break-down I had a fling with a guy who woke up my libido big time. Dormant for about 4 years, it was pretty much comatose! The sex with him wasn't that great but it was exciting and grown up and a little bit pervy. I was so horny all the time!

Next was my most recent ex, the one with anger issues. He tried hard, bless him, and he was very well endowed and highly sexed so I just enjoyed it as much as I could. I swear that he learned everything he knows about sex from porn films though. You ever been with that kind of guy? No genuine passion, purely technique and role play. Ah well it was ok and kept me sane.

Now B giving me the best sex of my life but with no emotional attachment. With him sex is all about genuine passion and sensuality. Before and after we're just like mates again. Weird eh? I didn't think it would be possible for me not to fall in love with the best fucker I've ever met but it seems that it is. Wow, life just keeps throwing them at you, doesn't it?

So now I fear that I am turning into a genuine slut. If fantastic sex is possible without attachment (and I used to think that you had to be in love!) then it becomes as addictive as any drug. Just how much fantastic sex could I have before I started to wear of it or would I become dangerously addicted? Unfortunately I have an addictive-type personality. If sex is no longer an expression of love but just a very enjoyable sport then why not play as much as you feel like? If I was a fanatical runner and went in for marathons and the like then no one would think it odd if I was training 4 or 5 days a week or more. Hence if sex is something I happen to be into in a big way at the moment is it so wrong to explore this interest 4 or 5 times a week? As long as it doesn't affect my daily life then I'm technically not an addict I think. Well at the moment it's affecting my daily life because I can't stop thinking about sex because I'm so horny because B will only do 2 times a week!

Which brings me to...the casual sex web sites. Ha ha! You see I'm worried that I'm losing my sense of reason and perspective because I am actually considering meeting up with one or more of those guys. It may be an incredibly dangerous thing to do and it may be something I'll regret when I regain my sanity or worse it may get me into trouble with B. Is it safe to meet guys on the internet for casual sex? I don't see why it's any more dangerous than picking someone up in a bar but maybe they're both dangerous? Well, of course they are. Just like crossing the road is statistically dangerous. But we do it because we need to or want to don't we? Or smoking for goodness sake! I smoke my head off even though I know it's very very bad for my health.

Currently there's bricklayer from Kent, business man from Eastbourne and married man from Brighton (!) on my potential fuck buddy list. My rational head says "stop before this gets out of control" but my sex drive is driving me crazy!