More about a non-relationship

The business man from Eastbourne turned out to be a bust. He is already fucking someone and maybe was looking to try to get someone for a threesome. Not my bag at all. Me with two guys...now that's another story!

The brickie...oh the brickie. Don't know what came over me but I actually met up and fucked this guy. And I didn't read the warning signs...bad kisser! Should have known he'd be rubbish in bed but somehow I thought after the detailed e-mails I'd sent him that he knew I'd have high expectations. I think he, like many men, are completely deluded about their lovemaking skills. I mean how arrogant to advertise yourself on a casual sex website and sell yourself to a woman when you're actually crap in bed? He was so bad in every way, apart from he had a big, fat dick. But unfortunately he had no idea what to do with it. Not hard and deep but quick and shallow. God almighty! How does a guy get to the age of 43 and not have learned how to make love properly? The only thing I can think is that there's a load of women out there being fucked by these guys and thinking that they're getting good sex. Poor cows, if only they knew! Or they haven't the heart to tell their partner that they're crap in bed. That just about sums up my situation with the ex actually. I guess if the guy's a good catch in other ways and you're not bothered about having mindblowing sex then that's ok. Not me anymore! I don't need anything from a man except good sex (oh all right and DIY).

Anyway, what an idiot. He came inside me! How incredibly stupid is that? I think I might be his first fuck since he split from his wife, from the way he was talking. What will the universe be telling me if I get pregnant by that incompetent idiot?

I slept with the brickie really for two reasons. Firstly to see if I could get anything approaching the buzz I get with B from someone else and secondly to see if I was truly emotionally unattached to B i.e. would I feel guilty.
On the first count obviously I didn't get anything approaching the buzz but now I'm asking myself was it just cos the brickie was a bad fuck? In other words could I still get a pretty good buzz from another guy? I have to say that I think the answer might be yes. After all, using the sport analogy again, you could have two tennis partners. One might be a great match for you and you may always have a great time playing him. The other might be a good substitute when the number one guy wasn't available and you have a pretty good time playing with him. See? B might be my number one seed but number two could still give me a good time when B not available. The thing is that although the brickie was rubbish, I was so horny that I was really wet and responsive to anything half decent he did. As I said the fucking was poor but on the odd occasion when I managed to pull him in deep it did feel good. So if he'd been a workman who knew how to use his tools it could have been really good.
On the second count...no I did not feel guilty. The intimacy and pleasure I get with B could in no way be affected by that fuck with the brickie. I think I may truly be getting inside the mind of a guy now. I can understand that when a guy cheats and says, "It was nothing, just sex!" that it's probably true. What I did with the brickie was just (bad) sex. Even if I'd got off on it more it could never have been as good as with B. As for emotional attachment...well I think I am a bit attached to B. However I no longer worry about him fucking other women and I feel free to fuck other men knowing that neither of us would then go on to abandon each other. As long as we're having great sex and enjoying each other's company fucking other people will be insignificant. Wow, I might be making this non-relationship work!

After he left I e-mailed the married guy from Brighton. See what he turns out to be like if he's still available.

So am hoping for a drug fuelled sexathon with B tonight, at least 8 hours. We're having text sex at the moment which is driving me wild. He hasn't said no to an all nighter so fingers and everything else crossed too! I'm such a lucky girl...ha ha.

Must remember not to talk the night away this time! Last time we took too much coke and I talked like a maniac. Before we knew it the night was gone and we'd hardly fucked at all...not good! I was really upset for days afterwards knowing that there may only be quickies on offer for a while. I wonder if it's unusual to be up for fucking for more than 8 hours? Would most women enjoy that? B says not and I suppose he should know. I'm not even satisfied after 8 hours, I could keep going! I think that's one of the things B likes about me...