More on a non-relationship

Monday...
B and I had our sex and music all nighter on Saturday night. Was it completely awesome as I predicted? Well, actually, no it wasn't! Yikes! What's going on? Is the magic between B and me over? I'm wondering if planning to sleep with other guys has taken my sexual focus off him, in which case should I be doing it?

The night started off with the sneak in which was the best yet. He had really wanted me to come in his mouth and I did! At the tea break I took some e (he already had but took some more). God damn it, it made me sick again! So he was high as a kite and I wasn't! Then I took some more and it made me sick again, so I took some more and then I came up but by that time he was coming down. How annoying. If we'd been up at the same time it really would have been awesome. So my conclusion is that I enjoy sex with B anyway but the real magic happens on e and I think that probably is the source of my outrageous horniness.

He came over again last night for a quickie. We took a tiny bit of leftover e but it didn't have a great effect, just a mellow high. It was lovely of course tho neither of us came...too much residual e in our systems.

Course I still rate B as a fantastic lover, the problems are all in my head. I have the illicit meeting with Brighton in a hotel in town on Wednesday morning. Will I get outrageously horny leading up to it? I'm not now! He texted me asking for another photo but I don't know if I'll be in the mood. I think this will answer my questions about B tho. If I have a great time Wed am then I should be able to have a great time with B...or is it sleeping with a stranger that's so exciting? If my head gets in the way on Wednesday and I can't let myself go and have fun then I guess the conclusion is that casual sex is not for me. Maybe it confuses my libido to have 2 men on the go and it shuts down! Or maybe it's all down to the e? Hmmmm...sleeping with the brickie didn't dampen my lust for B but that was closer to the time when we had the fantastic sex, drugs and music all nighters. It's gonna be a tough one to figure out.

Basically I'm feeling more like my normal self again at the moment. When I was horny all day every day I had a self confidence I've never had before. Chatting up men on MSN was easy and I got really turned on by their attention. But not so much now...I'm worried! It was so much fun being horny all the time. It's got to be a state of mind...surely I can get it back?

I'm off for a hot bath now. I'll lie there thinking about sex and see if I can turn myself on. Then it's back to the computer to see if Brighton turns up on MSN to talk dirty to me so that I'll take a rude photo. There's also a new guy, J, who I've started chatting to. He's a bit full on and sent me some very explicit pictures of him fucking another man's wife whilst the husband took the photos! Maybe chat to him a bit more. And then there's the kid...so much fun to be had if I can get myself revved up again!